Lasting Damage Read online

  “That's me.” Jane placed the ice cold drink in front of Alice while her stomach took a sudden and step nosedive into parts unknown. Sarah Jacobs, noted girlfriend stealer and evil frenemy from high school stood next to Alice with a sweet smile on her pretty face. “Alice? Why don’t you go in the back office and play with Nat?”

  Alice picked up her drink, turned to look at Sarah, and slunk off without a word.

  “You probably don’t remember me,” she paused for a brief second. “We went to high school together. I’m Sara Jacobs.”

  Jane nodded.

  “Are you bartending here?” Sara tucked a stray strange of hair behind her ears and smiled.

  “For the moment,” Jane answered.

  “It’s a really cool place. I was actually dropping off an application off with the manager.”

  “I didn’t know they were hiring?” Jane, never one to take the highroad unless she was bribed, decided to play nice for once and make small talk a person she didn’t want to talk to.

  “It’s for a position in the kitchen.” She nodded nervously as she took a seat. “There’s a rumor going around there’s going to be an opening for a new sous chef and I decided to jump on it before anyone else had a chance to get in line ahead of me.” She spoke so fast it made Jane wonder if she was trying to make sure there was not a second of dead air in her life. “I’ve just moved back to Portland and I’d love to work here.”

  “Best small city for foodies in the countries.”Jane wanted to ask her about her plans for Paris but decided against it since there was something very sad behind Sara’s big brown eyes.

  “I missed being here.” Sara tapped the bar with her thumb and smiled. Everything about her looked anxious and insecure, which piqued Jane’s curiosity. “It’s been a long time.”

  “Did you move back recently?”

  “Yes.” she let out a breath and leaned forward a little. “We’re just getting settled in and it’s all still sort of crazy.”

  “We?” Jane asked the question against her better judgment.

  “Robin and I,” she stammered. “You remember Robin?”

  “Sure.” She looked down to grab a rag and start wiping down the bar but apparently no one had bothered to keep them stocked. “Of course I remember her.”

  “We’ve been together for a long time.” She bit her lip, lowering her eyes to the wooden bar top directly in front of her.

  “So?” Jane decided the best course of action was to deflect the current topic of conversation and hope for the best. “What are you drinking this afternoon?”

  “Oh, nothing for me,” she said. “I was just dropping off my resume. I should probably get going.”

  “It’s on the house.” Jane offered. “Can’t beat that with a stick.”

  “Okay. Sure.”

  “So, what’ll it be?”

  “I have no idea,” she said, her words breathy and nervous. “I just normally drink a glass of wine.”

  “Anyone can drink wine. What you need is something spectacular.”

  “Sounds great.” Sarah shifted nervously in her chair. “You’re the boss.”

  “Did you ever make it back to France?” Jane filled a clean shaker with ice and grabbed a champagne glass. “That was your plan? Am I right?”

  “No, I never did.” Her eyes narrowed just a bit, it was as if she’d stepped on something sharp and didn’t want anyone to know she was in pain. “Life just sort of happened when I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “That’s how it usually goes,” she replied, measuring out two ounces of French vermouth into the shaker.

  Sara watched her for a long moment before her gaze shifted and she seemed to spark back to life. “How was NYU?”

  “It was college,” she replied. “I probably could have gone anywhere and gotten the same education.”

  “And you’re family?” she asked. “How are they all doing?”

  “Same as they ever were,” Jane answered and added the Kirsch and raspberry syrup. “What about your parents? How are they holding up?”

  “They got divorced when I was in college.”

  “Was that a good thing or a bad thing?” Jane poured the drink into the glass and added a maraschino cherry on top.

  “Good for them,” she paused. “But weird for me since I was faced with the realization that they were only staying together because of me.”

  “Doesn’t really seem fair to dump that kind of responsibility on a kid.” Jane said, placing the glass down in front of her.

  Sara picked her drink, she looked like she was about to say something when they were interrupted by Sammi as she swept up next to her.

  “Jane!” Sammi exclaimed as she sat down next to Sara. “What are you doing behind my bar?”

  “Just serving up drinks to the pretty ladies.” Jane gave Sara a crooked smile. “What are you in the mood for, Sammi?”

  “Something fruity,” she laughed. “And put a pink umbrella in it.”

  “You don't work here?” Sara took a sip and let out a satisfied sigh. “This is really good.”

  “I thought you might like it.”

  “Are you up for a second round, sweetheart ? That drink looks good on you and I’m buying?” Sammi asked as she slid onto the barstool next to Sara. “Jane, would you be a dear, and mix me up one of those?”

  “No, I'm good,” Sara replied politely before taking another sip. “One is more than enough.”

  “Is Jane teasing you?” she asked with a big exaggerated pout. “She's so mean. What are you drinking?”

  “It's um,” she stammered. “I’m not really sure what it is.”

  “Rose Cocktail.” Jane told them. “It’s a French drink from the twenties.”

  Sara sat up straighter on her stool and smiled. “It’s perfect,” she said softly.

  “I am to please,” Jane said, quickly setting up to make the next round of drinks. “I’m just glad you like it.”

  “Robin and I are having a party on Friday night,” she paused, lingering over her last sip as though it was the best part of her day. “It’s like a housewarming thing and I’d be great if you could make it.”

  “Do you need a bartender?” Jane meant it to sound like a tease but she could hear the note of some darker emotion hidden in the words.

  “Of course not,” Sara bit her lip before reaching into her pocket and taking out a pen. “It’s nothing like that. I’d never do that to you.”

  “I was just kidding,” Jane watched as Sara wrote something out on her napkin and wondered if she was as big of a jerk as she seemed to be or if Sara didn’t have a sense of humor.

  “I want you to come.” She reached across the bar and set the napkin next to her empty glass “I’m sure Robin would love to see you.”

  “I’ll try and make it.” Jane stared down at the bar and memorized what was written on the napkin without intending to. “I’ll have to check my schedule first.”

  “You can text me either way,” Sarah said as she slid off the stool. “If Friday doesn’t work out maybe we could meet up for coffee sometime?”

  Jane nodded silently, her eyes meeting Sarah’s for an instant before the other woman turned around and walked away.

  “Something going on that I need to know about?” Sammi asked, she traced the scrawling letters from Sara’s note with the tip of her index finger. “This is her address and phone number.”

  “Just old high school people that I hoped to never have to see again.”

  “And now you have to go to their housewarming party,” Sammi said before taking a sip. “Why didn’t you just tell her you had to work that night?”

  “I don’t know,” she lied. “I guess I choked.”

  “Jane?” Sammi set her drink down and gave her a knowing glance. “I’m not one of those little pups you hang around with. I’ve been around for a while and I know when something’s going on.”

  Jane looked around to see if Alice was within listening distance before answering Sammi’s
question. “She stole my girlfriend back in high school and they’re still together.”

  “And you’re stepping foot in their house?” Her voice hinted at the myriad of emotional entanglements that could evolve from the present situation.

  “I’m still undecided.”

  “Oh, honey, you are gonna need a new dress and some shoes. Those people have no idea who they’re dealing with.” Sammi nodded furiously. “Take Chloe shopping with you, that girl knows how to dress.”

  “I’m not going.” Jane set up for a rose cocktail of her own since Danny’s martinis were undrinkable. “It’s a waste of a perfectly good Friday night. Sara and Robin always had the snottiest friends. I probably wouldn’t even get hit on.”

  “Bullshit.” Sammi sniffed. “You’re the best looking girl in this town. I’d totally fuck you if you were into girls like me.”

  “Sammi, if it wasn’t for the heat you’re packing between those milky white thighs I might actually take you up on that offer.” Jane chuckled.

  “You are such a sweet talker.” Sammi smiled. “Now before I start sprouting wood why don’t you and I talk about my new business venture?”

  “Business venture?” Jane cocked a curious eyebrow in her direction. “You’re not going to try to get me to sell Amway are you?”

  “Oh honey, do I look like that kind of woman?” She asked with a determined shake of her head. “No, this is huge and I think you’re going to love it.”

  *****

  “This is making me ill.” Jane shoved another dress on back onto the rack and shook her head.

  “I like this one.” Chloe held up a flimsy little haltered number and smiled.

  “Nope,” Jane replied the instant she saw it. “I don't have the chest for that.”

  “You're not exactly flat-chested.” Chloe put it back on the rack and pressed a finger to her lips as she examined the options in front of her. They’d been to three different consignment stores and two vintage dress shops in less than five hours, and had come up empty handed. Jane could feel panic setting in as they closed in on the end of the rack with dresses her size.

  “I’d rather get something that doesn’t require having to wear a padded bra.”

  “What are you talking about? You look good in everything.” Chloe told her as she pulled out a hanger covered with emerald green lace and sparkles.

  “What planet are you living on?” Jane shook her head.

  “The one where I'm serving drinks to straight girls who like making out with each other to impress their boyfriends.” She set the lace monstrosity back on the rack and selected another of equal ugliness. “I need a real-life girlfriend”

  “You sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?” Jane teased.

  “Not really. I should probably just get a ferret.” She sighed dramatically before holding up some kind of strange garment made of bright red leather and waved it around.

  “Not in this lifetime,” Jane said with an exasperated laugh. “I think this place has been picked over. We might have to head into Freeport.”

  “No, we don't.” Chloe held up one hand as she reached for the next dress. She was smiling like a cat. “I’ve got a few prospects.”

  “I’m tired of prospects,” Jane whined like a cranky toddler. “I just want to go home and take a bath and call the whole thing off before I make a complete ass out of myself.”

  “Hold up, Cinders,” Chloe interrupted her with an excited squeal as she pulled something black from crazed sea of bright color and nauseating pattern. “I have found the dress.”

  “Do I dare ask?” Jane groaned.

  “Vintage Vivienne Westwood.” Chloe held up a black lace mini dress with a scoop neckline, low back and bell sleeves. It was part Daisy Duke, part Daisy Buchannan and all kinds of awesome. “The perfect dress for a rockstar’s daughter.”

  “Okay, that might be a good one.” Jane felt her stomach do a fast drop to her feet as she realized she had the best dress on the planet so she was going to have to go to the fucking party whether she wanted to or not.

  And she was going to have to go dateless.

  Chloe leveled her gaze straight at Jane and watched her for a moment before handing over the dress. “You’re gonna to leave us, aren’t you?”

  “What are you talking about?” Jane pressed the fabric to her nose and inhaled. It smelled good. Freshly dry-cleaned and properly stored, no scent of mold or mildew and not a fray in sight. A very good sign for a piece of clothing that was older than she was. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I know things didn’t work out with you and Harper but eventually you’re going to find someone and move away.” She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. It was the kind of sweet, sad smile that made people want to do whatever it took to make her look happy again.

  “That doesn’t mean I’m leaving.” Jane assured her.

  “It’s going to happen eventually.” Chloe let out a slow breath. “It has to. The three of us can’t live in that apartment for the rest of our lives. Eventually one of us is going to go do something stupid like fall in love.”

  Jane folded the dress over her arm as she studied her friends face. She’d known Chloe for nearly six years, they’d gone to college together, been dorm-mates and then roommates but managed to never share a bed. She was as close to her as she was to Lily and she planned on keeping it that way until the three of them were bunking together in the nursing home. She’d never actually had any other plans in life other than getting a bigger apartment so the three of them could have more space for their clothes.

  “Sammi’s opening a lounge down in the Old Port and she’s looking for investors,” she announced when she realized it was the perfect thing to say.

  “I think my waitressing days are numbered.” She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and went back to examining the dresses on the rack.

  “That’s not what I said,” Jane corrected her. “I said she was looking for investors. People who will help her build and run the place.”

  “So, not just a few silent partners to soften the financial risk?” Chloe asked.

  “I wouldn’t blame her for trying to protect her assets.” Jane’s eyes settled on the big brown price tag dangling from the edge of her dream dress and contemplated turning it but she knew it would be the quickest way to talk herself out of buying it. She had money, her small bits of coin she earned from a job she hated would cover the dress and a new pair of heels, so she wouldn’t have to touch fat trust fund she’d earned by keeping her mouth shut and doing as she was told for the first eighteen years of her life. “I just know that I’m tired of lining other people’s pockets, and maybe it’s about time we owned something of our own.”

  8.

  “

  Now you just look like a stalker.”

  Harper was halfway up the stairs to Jane’s apartment when she noticed her sitting in a chair on the porch. She had her ipad in her lap, a red solo cup in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

  “That wasn’t my intention,” Harper said as she took the last step onto the porch.

  Jane took out her earbuds and took a drink before speaking. “What were your intentions?”

  “Apologizing,” Harper replied. “Making things better.”

  “You’ve been sitting in your car for twenty minutes.” Jane took a drag off her cigarette and exhaled. “Were you rehearsing a speech?”

  Harper wanted to remark on the fact that Jane was watching her but decided it was a bad idea. “I keep trying to pull one together but I can’t figure out what I want to say,” she admitted. “Everything sounded wrong.”

  “Well, I appreciate your honesty.”

  “That’s good to hear.” Harper pointed to the pack of cigarettes on the table next to Jane’s chair. “This isn’t because of me, is it?”

  Jane shook her head and brought the cigarette to her lips.

  “What were you listening to?”

  “Blonde Redhead.” She exhaled slo
wly, the white smoke creating a gauzy curtain between them.

  “On Spotify?” Harper leaned asked the porch railing and attempted to engage Jane in conversation. “I’m on there, is you’re interested. The royalty scheme sucks but the exposure helps sell tickets.”

  Jane took another long drag from her cigarette and remained silent.

  “You’re not going to talk to me, are you?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.” Jane responded, she set the iPad down on the table beside her so she could stand up. “I was leaning in the direction of forgetting you ever existed, and then I was thinking that if you made some kind of grand gesture I might reconsider ignoring you.”

  “Grand gesture?” Harper stuffed her hands into her pockets. She was nervous and expected the worst but seeing as how Jane hadn’t called the cops or thrown anything sharp at her she figured things were headed in a good direction. “What kind of grand gesture are we talking about?”

  Jane stubbed out her cigarette. “I bought a dress today.”

  “And you want me to wear it?” She knew her sad attempt at being cute had failed miserably by the irritated grimace Jane gave her.

  “No.”

  “You want me to pay for it?” Harper decided to try the cute thing one more time and was rewarded with a small smile from Jane.

  “No.”

  “Well,” Harper began. “Why don’t you tell me how to connect the grand gesture to the dress so I can agree to do whatever you tell me to do?”

  “I have to go to a party.” Jane picked up the pack of cigarettes, pulled another out and promptly lit it. “It’s a housewarming party for my ex-girlfriend from high school and the girl who stole her from me.”

  “Doesn’t sound like much of a party,” Harper said.

  “I was thinking about going alone, but I don’t want to go alone.” Jane stared off into space for a second before taking a breath and snapping back to reality. “Having people hate me is something I’m perfectly comfortable with, it’s when they think I’m pathetic that I begin to get itchy.”

  “I doubt anyone who spent ten seconds talking to you would think you were pathetic.”

  “That is very sweet of you to say.” Jane took another drink from her red cup and let out a small, self-deprecating laugh. “But, you haven’t met Robin and Sarah. They are practically perfect in every way.”