Lasting Damage Read online

  “That was random.” Harper choked on lemon wedge and had to remove it to keep from dying on their first date.

  “Probably just a little.” Jane agreed. “But don’t you wonder what kind of man would enter a tiny penis competition?”

  “One who is either extremely secure with his masculinity or has exemplary oral skills.” She raises an eyebrow as she made an attempt at pulling herself back together. “Or a wife with a really sick sense of humor.”

  “Having superior pussy eating skills would totally make up for having a microscopic wang.” Jane shrugged and took another sip of her drink. “My bet’s on the wife being sick and twisted.”

  “So tiny penis contest aside,” she paused to examine her scary looking drink sitting just to the right of her plate waiting to be tasted. “Exactly what is in this?”

  “Beer, lemon juice, a dash of Tabasco and Worchester sauce and Clamato.” Jane told her. “It’s not half bad if you like that sort of thing. It's like a really funky Bloody Mary.”

  Harper stammered as she said the word, “Clamato?”

  “Clam juice. It’s actually better if you add the shot of tequila but you drank it before I had a chance to tell you.” Jane grabbed a stuffed chili off the platter and carefully set it on her plate.

  “Should I order another one?” Harper picked up her drink and put it back down and the table without missing a beat.

  “It might help the taste.” Jane put her fork down and folded her hands in her lap. “Are you planning on having sex with me?”

  Harper resisted the urge to take a swift slug of her drink before she had to answer Jane’s question. She picked the glass and stared at it. “Eventually,” she said before setting her untouched drink back down on the table.

  Jane gave her an amused smile. “Eventually?”

  “What’s wrong with wanting to get to know you first?” Harper stabbed her fork into a mini empanada and deposited it on the plate. “I know it’s old fashioned, but it’s what I do when I really like someone.”

  “What if I’m not into old fashioned things?” Jane bit her lip, she looked like she was waiting for Harper to say just the right combination of words.

  Or the wrong combination of words.

  “Then you and I might be at an impasse.” Harper didn’t have a lot of moral fortitude, and the ‘waiting for sex’ thing wasn’t as true as she wanted to think it was but, at that moment it felt important to her.

  “So, no casual fucking for you.” She sliced the chili with her fork, stabbed a hunk and popped it in her mouth.

  “You certainly have a way with words.”

  Jane laughed.

  “Besides, how do I know that you’re not leading me into some sort of verbal entrapment scenario?” Harper pulled the empanada apart and started eating it. “Maybe you’re asking because you’re looking for a very specific answer and if I don’t have the answer on the first try you’ll get up and leave?”

  “I wouldn’t try and trick you,” she replied. “You’re too sentimental around the eyes for that kind of bullshit.”

  “Sentimental around the eyes?” Harper cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t think anyone has ever said that about me before.”

  “I made it up.” Jane took a sip of her drink, the one that didn’t contain clam juice, and grinned. “It sort of described that lovely thing you’ve got going on around your face.”

  Harper put her hand over her mouth; she was caught between trying to swallow a mouthful of spicy food and laughing. If she wasn’t careful she was going to need the Heimlich to help her survive the date.

  “What?” Jane chuckled. “Was it something I said?”

  “No,” Harper paused to finish swallowing her food and stop laughing. “It the way you said it.”

  “Technically, English isn’t my first language so I don’t bother with how the words are supposed to be put together.”

  “You don’t have an accent.” Harper remarked.

  “And I don’t speak a word of Danish.” Jane dipped a fry in the tamarind sauce and nodded as she chewed. “And you have earned yourself a second date.”

  “How is that?”

  “I liked the answer you gave me.”

  “About sleeping with you?”

  Jane looked up at her through thick lashes and gave an innocent shrug of her shoulders.

  “See, I knew it was a trick.” Harper cut off another piece of the chili and stabbed at it. “So, maybe we’re long term material?”

  “It’s possible, but don’t get too full of yourself.” She warned as she pointed to Harper’s full glass. “First things first, you need to drink that so we can start planning dessert.”

  “This better be worth it.” This time she didn’t stop to inspect the drink before putting it to her lips and taking a sip of the freakish concoction.

  “It will be.” Jane assured her. “Especially when I let you kiss me on our next date.”

  *****

  Jane stood in her apartment and surveyed the damage. She’d been working more than normal, and there wasn’t a decent housekeeper among the three of them, but something had to be done before they were forced to call in a biohazard team and have the place tented.

  She tossed her bag on the couch and plopped down across from Lily who looked absorbed in some home decorating show while she sucked a pot leaf shaped lollipop.

  “Good morning,” she sighed.

  “Afternoon.” Lily answered back.

  “Sorry, I lost track of time.” Jane stretched her legs and kicked off her sandals. All desire to clean drifted away as the mismatched couple on the real estate show traded quips with an irritated real estate agent.

  “You’re back early.” Lily looked up from her seat and gave her a crooked smile. “Chloe said you had a brunch date.”

  “I did.”

  “And?” Lily asked before returning the lollipop to her mouth.

  “And now I’m home.” Jane shrugged. She knew it wasn’t the kind of answer Lily was looking for but it was the only one she was giving. She was still annoyed with the fact that both of her friends had gone behind her back to manipulate the situation with Harper.

  “This is the most depressing conversation I’ve had all day.” Lily announced.

  “Have you had a lot of conversations today?” Jane picked up the remote and pressed the mute button. Something told her that this was the perfect time to get Lily distracted from the subject of Harper.

  “More than I was planning on having,” Lily groaned. “I’ve made a few mistakes since last night,”

  “A few?” Jane chuckled.

  “I’ve got these two girls in my bedroom, and I’m pretty sure one of them was straight.”

  “Was?”

  Jane turned to face her and smiled a sad little smile. “I might have spoiled her for men for the rest of her life.”

  “Nice ego you got there, Lil,” she laughed.

  “Have you ever had sex with a man?” Lily rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t take much to top that experience.”

  “So,” Jane paused to catch her breath. “You found a straight girl who wanted to see if she was gay?”

  “Well, that’s the impression I’m getting now that the Absinthe’s worn off,” she said with a casual shrug.

  “Jesus,” Jane laughed again. “Absinthe?”

  “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Lily stretched her arms over her head and let them drop down to her sides. “In retrospect, it was not such a good idea.”

  “Okay, fine. Why don’t you tell me a little more about this situation you’ve gotten yourself into?”

  “With the absinthe out of my system I’m pretty sure there isn’t much of a situation,” she explained. “It’s mostly a matter of me being gay and the other girl being gay and the third girl not thinking she was actually gay until she realized just how much fun it is to have sex with women.”

  “This sounds too complicated for my tiny brain. Can’t you give me condensed version of the actual probl
em?”

  “I can’t get rid of them,” Lily popped the candy into her mouth groaned.

  “Do you have one of those for me?” Jane pointed to the familiar pot leaf wrapper and smiled.

  Lily took the pop out of her mouth and nodded slowly. “You and Chloe.”

  “Where is Chloe?” Jane asked. “Maybe you can send her in there to get rid of your girls?”

  “She went shopping for hair stuff and shoes.” Lily told her just as a smile broke out on her face. “You brother woke me up.”

  “Riley was here?” Jane set the remote down on the coffee table and grabbed a band for her hair. It’d been bugging her since she woke up but seeing as how she was having a good hair day she didn’t want to ruin it before Harper could get a look at what she looked like with it down.

  “No,” Lily said. “He called.”

  “He called you?” Jane didn’t hide the bewilderment that coated her words. If there were ever two people who never sought out one another’s company it was her best friend and her brother. Jane knew they dealt with each other as a way to keep the peace between all of them, but there was no love lost and Jane preferred it that way since it helped to keep her family life separate from her real life. “Why the hell did he call you?”

  “Because you had your phone turned off and he knows Chloe screens her calls so he was out of options.” She answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

  “That still doesn’t explain why he needed to talk to any of us?” Jane fought against the sudden urge to pour herself a tall, cold drink and wallow for half an hour until Riley called to tell her what was really going on. “You’re leaving something out.”

  Lily nodded slowly as her smile morphed into a self-satisfied smirk. “You need to get Alice out of his house.”

  Jane felt all the blood drain away from her head in an instant and flood her heart. It was a painful, frightening experience that made her thinks about heart attacks and strokes and how tragically unexplainable it would seem to the outside world if she died before she had the chance to do something important with her life. “Please tell me this is a joke.”

  “I told him she could stay here with us.” Lily laughed and stuck the lollipop back in her mouth.

  “Why would you say that?” Jane whined.

  “Because I’m a nice person.”

  “Did he even tell you what she’s doing here?” Jane picked up her bag and set it down in her lap. No matter how many times Alice decided to pull this particular trick she was never fully prepared to see her little sister. “I thought she was in London with Mom.”

  “So did Riley,” Lily yawned. “But she just showed up yesterday morning as he was packing up for a show. Apparently she was mumbling something about London being too hot and having too many little dogs and how it was filled with snotty English bitches. It was the usual Alice rant.”

  “And, of course, she can’t say at his house.”

  Lily sunk down a little lower in her seat, her eyelids were starting to look heavy from the laced lollipop. “Riley said he had someone in the studio trying to get a final mix pulled together, so she’s got to go.”

  “Why didn't she go on tour with Dad?”

  “Probably, because she likes hanging around Portland, making a nuisance of herself, and annoying people?” Lily tossed the question out but they both knew she wasn’t looking for an answer. “Why don’t you give him a call and find out for yourself?”

  “I don't want to deal with Alice today.” Jane grabbed her phone out of her bag and hit the speed dial for her brother. “She gives me migraines.”

  “I’ve got the cure for that,” Lily laughed. “Three Darvocet and you’ll be just fine.”

  “I’m gonna need those.” Jane replied as the phone stopped ringing and she heard the familiar sound of her brother talking.

  “Jane?” He gave an annoyed sigh. “It’s about time.”

  “What the fuck is going on?” She shot back.

  “Good to hear from you too.”

  “Why is Alice in town?” Jane tightened her grip on the phone. “She’s supposed to be with Mom for the summer.”

  “Have you picked her up yet?” Riley asked, his voice sounded strained, it reminded her of the time when she was five and he found her sitting behind the tour bus with a broken wrist and no adult in sight.

  “Hell no. Alice is your favorite sister.” She told him. “Why can’t she just stay there until you get back?”

  “She’s too disruptive and I’ve got an artist in there who can’t deal with disruptions right now,” he paused for a brief moment to talk to someone else. His voice sounded serious and low but Jane couldn’t make out any of the words. “I'm kinda stuck so can you just give me a break and get her out of the house?”

  “Are you in trouble?” She felt a tiny wave of sisterly love wash over her. It was quickly followed by the fear of Riley also being in trouble and her being the last sibling standing. Jane figured there weren’t enough drugs in the world to help her deal with being the one responsible for all the member of her family.

  Of course Alice had gone go to Riley’s, he was the safe, secure one who always knew what to do when things got really bad. What worried Jane was the thought of how bad things could get with Alice before she realized she needed help. She was kind of like one of those kids who don’t have nerve endings in their skin and have to be watched every second of the day so they don’t bleed to death from an accident with a butter knife.

  “No, it’s nothing,” he answered. “I had a gig in Boston and I'm stuck here for a while.”

  “Why didn't you come back last night?”

  “Can you please stop being difficult?” He pleaded. “All I need you to do is get Alice up and moving. She's probably still passed out from whatever party she was at last night.”

  “You and I both know it’s going to be more complicated than that.” She informed him.

  “There's five hundred bucks in it.” He grumbled. “Can you please just do this for me and not ask a bunch of questions?”

  “Fine, but you have to promise to pay me.”

  “Have I ever let you down before?”

  “Surprisingly, no.” She laughed.

  “Surprisingly? What the hell are you talking about? I am an awesome brother.” He announced with puffed up pride. “You really should be nicer to me.”

  “Yes, Riley. I'll be nicer to you but I’m not making any promises for Alice.”

  “You better be good to her.” He warned with his big brother voice.

  “Again, I’m not making any promises.”

  “I already talked to Lily and she told me that she was going to beat the hell out of you is you messed with Alice.” He announced.

  “Since when did Lily become Alice’s caretaker?” Jane threw her friend a glare before flipping her off.

  Lily just grinned.

  “I’m not asking any questions about what goes on between those two.” Riley answered.

  “Well, maybe since Lily likes her so much Lily can be the one to go and get her?” Jane narrowed her gaze at Lily but didn’t get any more of a response.

  “Did she tell you about her lollipop?” He laughed.

  “Oh come on,” Jane huffed. “You know better than to fall for that one.”

  “I know better than to take any chances when it comes to having stoned people driving around doing me favors.” His voice lacked the vehemence that the average person would have when talking about the dangers of driving while under the influence. Jane didn’t bother pushing the subject any further since she wouldn’t trust Lily to drive anywhere most of the time.

  “Whatever,” she grumbled.

  “You'll be there?”

  “Yes, I'll be there and I'll roll her off the couch before she can bother anyone.” Jane told him. “You happy now?”

  “I’d be happier if I didn’t have to pay you to spend time with your sister.” His voice was thick with fake guilt but Jane wasn’t going to let that bother
her. She’d done more than her fair share of babysitting various members of their family and she wasn’t above wanting to get paid for her time and trouble. She also knew that few people would understand her demand for compensation but most people didn’t have a family quite like hers.

  “You'll get over it.” She shot back before pressing the power button on her phone. Shutting the thing off was the only way she was going to get a little peace now that Alice was back in town.

  Fucking Alice.

  And fucking Riley.

  Jane wasn’t sure which one of them she disliked more at the moment. She was still trying to revel in the awesomeness of her date with Harper and didn’t welcome the kinds of distractions that Alice brought into her life. She tossed her phone into her bag and started fishing around for her car keys.

  She was going to have to wait on that lollypop if she wanted to make it across town because the medical grade stuff always knocked her on her ass and she was a bad enough driver without anything in her system.

  “How come you don’t have to go and get Alice?” She asked with a sour sneer. “You’re the one who likes playing with her.”

  “I tell you what,” Lily pauses to gather her ponytail into a loose Korean bun at the back of her head. “You help me get rid of the gruesome-twosome in my bed and I’ll go over there with you and pick Alice up off the floor.”

  “Sure,” Jane said as she stood up and slipped her feet back into her shoes. “I’ll help you with your train wreck if you help me with mine.”

  5.

  Alice was passed out on the couch when Jane and Lily finally made it over to Riley’s. It’d taken longer than she’d anticipated, Lily’s houseguests were having a difficult time understanding the idea that some people could have sex without being in love.

  “I think I got the raw end of this deal,” Jane eyed her sister. It was after four in the afternoon; she was half dressed and clutching an empty bottle of Grey Goose in her hand.

  They kept quiet, neither one of them saying anything while listening to the rhythmic patter of her breathing. Alice was alive and she was healthy, this meant they were free to wake her up in whichever manner they saw fit.